"Play tonight just for her, I'll sing..."
Toma Zdravković, March 1988., Belgrade, Serbia
Year 1988, month March, day 14, 2 o'clock in the morning. The biggest snow outside so far. I look at my mother, who is holding me in her arms, I feel a great closeness in my chest and an even greater love in my heart, I tell her with my eyes that it was more beautiful with her in the her womb, but she is saying something in a language I still don't understand. Belgrade sleeps, while my father and godfather sing in the tavern with Tom Zdravković(famous singer in Serbia) and the rest of the team, announcing the arrival of the champion, the first among equals. "Marija, she will be named after my mother, and regardless of the fact that she is a girl, she will kick in life ahead of her like Mike Tyson."
Toma Tdravković sings all night and gets crazy tips, with the same he goes in the early morning and on his own initiative buys the biggest bouquet of flowers, takes it to my mother in the hospital.
Just as I managed to learn the language my mom spoke, after 2 and a half years, my younger sister appeared. I didn't even notice that mom had a belly, only that she wasn't home for a couple of days and that she was coming back with a baby in her arms. Honestly, I was more fascinated by the toy they got in the maternity hospital. Another two years pass, now I notice that mom walks with difficulty, has a belly and eats like dad. She's gone again for a few days, she is coming back with another baby, but this time it's a younger brother. Great, just what I needed to be an older sister to another creature who will follow me everywhere and take my toys, and I have to keep quiet and let them go, because they are small and i m the oldest (those words still ring in my head from all the adults who passed through our house).
Elementary and high school passed me by in a second, leaving me with the most beautiful and difficult lessons in my life. In elementary school, I got another family, the one where you think you are adopted (but you are not), because you are different, but they still love you no matter what.
My class from elementary school, my second family
In high school, I learned how to get out of my comfort zone and for the first time came face to face with jealousy, a clash of attitudes and opinions, but not from children, from professors. I spent most of my time traveling around Europe playing water polo.
Smaller collection 2004-2012.
University days are coming, as long as there is no math and it's close to the pool, because water polo is everything to me. Law school, super close to home and mom is a lawyer, I'll do it easily. What a mistake. After the first year, I change my university and go to the Faculty of Culture and Media, I find myself completely and my studies go by in the blink of an eye. I'm going through late puberty at 24 and I m acting like I'm 15. My parents don't say anything, but my father made his comment one time when he welcomed me home at 8 in the morning: "Dear daughter, are you working the third shift?". That feeling passes after a year and I get the opportunity to work in the place I decided 5 years earlier that I would work to the general laughter of everyone present at that moment.
I go for an interview and instead of an hour I stay for 5 years. Lots of ups and downs, tears and laughter, love and hate. Lots of life lessons.
Embassy of China, Belgrade 2016.
Tennis camp, one of the projects
December 2015, on the second day of St. Nicholas, my younger brother commits suicide. The day after my brother's funeral, I return to work, planting the Djokovic vineyards, work must not suffer. I put my head into work, so i dont lose my mind, I overdid it by working twice as much as I should have, as the years pass, I slowly realize that I was elbowing my way through the wrong round table of knights (I am referring to the world of men).
My parents, the way I want to remember them forever
September 2019, my father sits in a chair and closes his eyes, the third heart attack, no one expected. The day after the funeral, I am leaving for Egypt, alone. After returning to Serbia, I pressured my mentor to choose a committee so i can defend my master's thesis (for which they have told me that I missed the topic, and I was the only one in the history of the faculty of 30 years who had the courage to do something different). After completing my master's studies in December 2019, I am going to my beloved Egypt, returning with a decision and quitting my job. Even if the world ends on April 1st, I'm leaving, giving everyone enough time to adjust. It was not easy, but it was necessary for my further life path and success. The first of April is coming and it's not a joke that I'm leaving my comfort zone and the corona starts (complete closure of the world) begins. On the day of the imposition of the state of emergency, I proudly go to hand in the papers for obtaining a visa for Canada. An unpleasant woman behind the glass screams at me if I am normal what I am doing and if I can see what is happening around me. To her greater hysteria, I calmly answer: "Well, it's not urgent for me, I want to go to my aunt's for a while." Poor woman had a nervous breakdown when he sees me two months later I got a 10-year visa.
In the period of complete shutdown of the world, I experience real student days with my mother in the apartment, South Korean face masks, cucumbers on my eyes, movies all day. My sister calls every day, she envies the silence we have, and in the background of the calls, you can mostly hear the children and their loud songs. The closing period is passing, the world is slowly starting to return to a new normal, I realize how much I liked the silence and isolation, but I still accept a new job, the traditional one from 9 am to 5 pm, temporarily, this time in a completely new sphere.
After returning from Egypt in June, 2021, I received the news that my mother is not well and that we must go for more detailed medical analyses, 10 days after she passed and on Saturday morning I found her on the floor with no signs of life, 2 minutes after I turned around. The fear I felt was bloodcurdling. (alone in the house with my mom)
Hoping to push through this, as well as the previous losses, I force myself to go back to work after 7 days. After a month, both the boss and I realize that this will not work and we part ways. I haven't met a bigger man in a while.
I realize that I need isolation, swimming, walking with my dog by the river and children's laughter, 2 months pass, I get up and start looking for a job that I haven't defined yet. I send my CV, I go for an interview the next day, I see fear in the eyes of the people who talk to me. Their fear and shallow view of things disgusts me. They drag me for a couple of days and the answer is the same, you are too qualified for the position we are looking for, you are not the profile of the candidate we are looking for. After another job interview in the same week, I realize I'm wasting my time and start questioning whether I should apply for bigger positions. I have not yet received a reply s to those sent emails. I come to the conclusion that I have no other choice but to open something of my own. Fear runs through my body, but what else can I do.
I'm scrolling through the pages of my friends on Instagram, an ad pops up, a sign, Angie Digital, digital marketing manager. This totally makes sense. My story begins.
"I owe a special thanks to all of you who closed the door for me. A big THANK YOU to those who did not want to fight for me, when I needed it the most. Without you, I would not have seen my greatness and the power that I carry within me to move mountains and universes. "
Today, MJ lives a new life in Egypt with her Zizi.
April 2023
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